A Letter to Kellen

Dear Kellen,

Today you are one month old. This past month has both flown by and seemed to never end, and as I think about where your father and I were just four weeks and one day ago, I am blown away by what our lives have become.  Now that you are here we are slowly discovering what it means to be parents and how that fits into our definitions of who we are.

Since October 30th, we've learned a few things about how you operate:

• You cry when there is ANYTHING in your diaper. If you shart, we know about it almost immediately. And yes, by shart, I mean you squeeze out a fart and just a little poop finds its way into your diaper. This is completely unacceptable to you, and although I can't blame you, it does drive me crazy when I run your screaming self to the changing table, wildly rip your onesie off, and find only a tiny, dime-sized poo.

• The way you suck on your pacifier tells us what your mood is. A slow SUCK...SUCK...SUCK... means you are content. SUCKA-SUCKA-SUCKA means you are agitated, confused or extremely alert. If you are pissed off, we hear the ANGRY SUCK. And if you are furious, we don't hear the pacifier at all because you are screaming and it has been catapulted across the room.

• When you are upset, there are three things that will console you and calm your squawking. The first thing is attaching you to my boob. The second is to change your sharty diaper. The third is to make a loud SHHHHHHH-ing sound in your ear. This last thing is like magic, and works almost every time. Your dad and I have almost passed out at times because the only thing that will keep you calm is to SHHHHHH-SHHHHHH for 10 minutes until you finally calm into a contented SUCK...SUCK... . We have done so much SHHHHHH-ing that I catch myself doing it even when I'm not trying to calm you. I do it to the cats when they are being crazy. I do it to a package that will just not open. I try to SHHHHHH my frozen leftovers to warm them up.

Ready for a medical emergency

All of these discoveries have been extremely vital in keeping some shred of sanity during this period of almost no sleep. Being able to calm you into submission allows our blood pressure to drop, and is the reason we aren't curling up into the fetal position and crying alongside you. But there are a few other things we've learned about you that have given us an idea of who you are, of the endlessly endearing baby you seem to be:

• You don't like to sleep during the day. Its as if you want to see everything there is to see, and No Mom, I won't close my eyes until I have seen it ALL. This leads you to fight your drooping eyelids and you end up in a state that we affectionately call "demon baby". Your eyes roll back in your head, and all we can see is the white part through the sliver of your eyelids. Its completely adorable, and only occasionally freaks me out.

•  You love to snuggle. After being burped, you will turn your head in, which either means you intend to spit up all down the front of whoever is doing the burping, or that you intend to wiggle your head into the crook of the burper's neck and fall asleep. Snoring almost always accompanies this snuggle, which makes the adorable meter explode.

• Although it is still too early to really tell which parent you most look like, I am fairly certain that your father will win this award. You have the same forehead wrinkles that appear when your eyes open wide, and you also inherited his strange pointer fingers that somehow manage to always be in "point" position, even when you are sleeping. You do have a Holstad nose though, which is of course a rad nose to have.

I can't believe I am able to write so much after such a short time with you. You have turned our lives upside-down. You have pushed us to our limits. You have tested our ability to work as a team. And you have changed us into parents.

I can't wait for this next month, and the one after that, and the one after that...

Love you so much,  Mama

Three Weeks and Still Surviving!

Kellen Michael Hancock was born (finally!) on October 30, 2011 at 2:01pm.  He weighed 8 lbs 10 oz, and was 20.5 inches long.  12 days past due, we were ready to meet him and were excited I was in labor the day before I was scheduled to be induced. Labor took 30 hours, but Kellen came into the world healthy and beautiful via cesarean section.  After 4 days in the hospital, we finally came home to start life as a family.  

Mom at 9 months

Dad at 9 months

In our last hours as a family of 2

Proud dad

Here he is!  Welcome baby Kellen!

The first family photo

Love at first sight

So far adjusting to life with a baby has been a huge challenge, but also immensely rewarding. Sleep has been hard to come by (go figure) and it is taking some time to get to know Kellen and understand what he needs from us.  The cats have adjusted faster than we have! However, even with the huge learning curve, I know that neither Matt nor myself would change a thing.  Kellen has become the center of our little family and we love him to death, no matter how loud he cries or how huge his craps are :)

Family has been hugely important in these first few weeks for us.  Matt's mom lives right up the road and has graciously been available to come over and help be an extra set of hands, allowing us to pop out to lunch or take a nap.  His dad and stepmom have loved spending time with their grandson as well.  My parents have also been a huge help, willing to come down from Whidbey Island to babysit and also just be here to give us time to eat a meal or catch up on some sleep. The fact that he's the first grandchild on both sides makes him a pretty important figure in the fam!

Uncle Drew

Grandma Lois

Grandpa Jeff

Nana Kris

 

Matt is smiling like a madman, I'm puffy and exhausted, and Kellen is screaming.  And thus life as a family begins.

So many people have been asking for pictures that I've decided to use this blog as a way to get those pics out without having to clog up Facebook, while still being able to show off my adorable son (with commentary, of course).  I am in the midst of putting together a video compilation of his first month, and that should be posted after Thanksgiving.  In the meantime, I hope everyone's holiday is wonderful and that you are all staying warm.  Happy Thanksgiving!

First Greenlake walk!

A dawgs fan, of course

Naptime. Mom needs more of these.