5 Months

Dear Kellen,

You have decided to celebrate your 5 month birthday by doing not just one new trick, but three! You blew your first raspberry today "PLLLLLLLLL!". You started making a great new noise that you love, a "HHMMMMM BOO-BWHA!" sound that requires you to make a silly bird face with your lips.

The most exciting thing, however, is your triumphant first roll from your back to your front! You have been working on this for over a month, and we have many videos of you squirming, us cheering, all trying to get you to just...flip...get...baaah!  So close! Tonight, right before we started to put you down for bed we thought we'd see if you would flip. And you did! And it scared the crap out of you! Your dad and I yelling like crazy probably didn't help with that.

In the end, I think you were able to do it because you were pants-less. Less to get in the way, I suppose. (Yes, that means this video features a baby with no pants, and once again Kelly, I apologize for showing your weewee off to the world).

You are a delight to be around - we constantly get comments from friends and strangers alike. "What a mellow baby!" "He's so calm!" "What a sweet boy!" You smile your huge smile and everyone melts. Believe me, you have your fussy periods, and these can exhaust me to no end. But you never fuss without a specific reason, and once the problem is fixed you stop and smile again.

This month it's finally sunk in that we are a family. It's hard for me to remember how we got along without you. Every day you grow a little more, show us something new. You've filled a hole in me I didn't know existed, and every day my heart gets a little bigger to make room for all the love I've got for you. I am a more complete person now that you are around.

Lets finish off the first half of your first year with some more fun.

Love,
Mama

Hanging out with Grandpa Jeff

Baby friends!

Jackson is your bff. No, you don't have a choice in the matter.

You love books. You love bookshelves, piles of books, looking at books, hitting books, eating books ...

You also love Wilbur. You will smile at him and watch him forever. He loves you too, and sleeps next to your crib during the day. He even lets you grab fistfulls of his fur.

Learning how to sit all on your own!

Lookin' ridiculous at frisbee with Jenny. 

With Nana Kris

Go Canucks

Hooray for Showers and Grass

Sometime in the past month or so Matt and I decided that we would rotate getting an "evening off" each week. This means that every other week we each get to go to happy hour or get a pedicure or toss the disc or whatever without the other person or Kellen around. It's been nice so far, as we've both been able to find fun ways to relax (Pink toes? Yes please!) and connect with friends that we don't see as much now that we're parents.

Matt took this evening off, and I was sweating this last night. I knew he wouldn't be home until 7:30 or so which meant that I would have Kellen to myself for 12 hours today. In case you haven't done it before, 12 hours straight with an almost 5 month old can feel like a lot longer when you're the only one in charge of him. Of course I've done days this long before, but he's been pretty fussy lately and I was worried he would straight up wear me out, and that Matt would come home to a frazzled woman still in her pjs exclaiming "TAKE HIM. HE'S YOUR SON."  When Kelly (yes, sometimes we call him Kelly) woke up at 4am this morning, I was sure the above scenario was about to play out.

WRONG. I had what I think is probably the best day I've had with my son so far.

We woke up and played. He napped. I did housework for the first half of his nap, then drank coffee - no book, no TV, just me and a cup of coffee in the kitchen. We went for a jog using the stroller my cousin lent us to try out. I actually got in a shower after said jog, and that is a much bigger deal than it sounds (Can I get an AMEN SISTAH from all you moms?).

 

It was actually sunny GASP so we brought a blanket to the yard and Kellen got to feel grass for the first time. I put him in a sitting position and HE STAYED THERE! He loooooved the feel of the grass in his hands and tried multiple times to pull some out and stick a fistfull of blades into his mouth.

We ran some errands and I took him to Odle, the school I used to teach at, to introduce him to some friends. People who were right there with me through all the struggles on my path to becoming a mom, people who were truly joyed to see and meet him. Thank you again, you all know who you are, thank you for being such an important pillar of support during my time at Odle.

Being a mom is hard, plain and simple. I feel that being a "stay at home mom" or "housewife" or "domestic goddess" or whatever you'd like to call it is a unique and challenging way to experience parenting and all the difficulties that come with it. There are days when I am ready to lie down and go to bed at 6pm, days when I feel like I will never have a day as hard as this one and days when I feel rejuvenated and alive with the pure reality of it all. Today was one of the latter, and I feel thankful that I am here, right now, in this house, in this life, with my amazing little family.

Steamed Sweet Potatoes? Huh.

In the past week Kellen has started opening his mouth like a little baby bird whenever we are eating something, and so we thought he should get to join us! He's a little on the young side for solids but just look how much he enjoys it! Yummm...

This isn't the original video I made, which means it's a bit shorter and it doesn't have rad music.  I'm still trying to figure out the best way to share my longer videos on Blogger. Also, even though it was shot and produced in HD it is super pixelated and squished...sigh. Help?

Also, check out some cute pics below. Crazy days.

Four Months

My dear son,

You were sick last week Kellen, sick for the first time in your little life.  You woke up with a cold on Monday, by Thursday we had taken you to the doctor twice, and by Friday you had been sent to the ER. You were struggling so hard to breathe. Your whole body was working in and out in order to get air. I didn't freak out the first 3 days - I was very proud of this fact - but by Wednesday night I couldn't take it any more.  My baby, the most important little man in my life, was hurting and nothing I was doing was helping.  I didn't know my heart could hurt so much.  On Thursday night your dad and I blew up the air mattress and slept in your room, right next to your crib. We were all up all night, you not being able to breathe when on your back and me not being able to sleep while listening to you struggle.  Friday at lunch we took you to Children's, they suctioned out your little lungs, and all of a sudden you could breathe again.  You immediately nursed and fell into the deepest sleep you had in almost a week. I cried out of pure relief.

You've been improving since then, although you have stopped sleeping through the night (NOOOOOOO!!!!!).  We had gotten use to it after almost a month of 9pm-7am sleep and now it's back to every 2-3 hour wakings. I keep reminding myself that this won't last forever, that you will eventually sleep through the night again, that you won't go to college waking up every night until your roomate finally says DUDE, YOUR MOM ISN'T HERE, SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP ALREADY. Real sleep will come again for all in this household. How about tonight? Please?

 

Before I got pregnant, I thought I wouldn't like all the baby stuff - and there is so much STUFF, it's like you popped out of the uterus with two suitcases full of brightly colored plastic - hanging around my house. And that's just it. I thought of it as my house. I guess I didn't understand how quickly your presence would be made known around here. I can't look across a room or turn a corner without seeing BRIGHT! BAAAABY! And I love it. It is a constant reminder of the fun just waiting to be had with you, reading your giraffe book or cheering you on as you try to roll onto your stomach on your play mat.



At your 4 month visit yesterday you proved what a good natured baby you are. It started with me having to wake you up from a nap in your carseat (Whaa? It's time to be awake now? Huh. Ok. Can I at least smile at you? Wait, wait, I can smile bigger!) and ended with you getting two shots in your left thigh (Ooh, what's that nice lady holding? Looks like funWHAT THE #@$%?!  SERIOUSLY?!  YOU GUYS ARE SUCH JER- ooh, thanks for picking me up, Mama! Can I smile at the nice lady?).

We sat you in your high chair the other day with some toys on the tray, and you BANG BANGed away, a toy in each hand, thoroughly enjoying yourself. I cried and took pictures. Weren't you just yesterday a little tiny being that couldn't even hold your head up?  This is going to be tough for me if I cry at every little milestone, and you will NEVER want to go anywhere with me (Oh Kelly-Belly, your first time talking with a cute girl! WAAAAH!)

You know what though? Don't pay a bit of attention to me. Keep growing and developing into the little man you are meant to be. I will try to stand back and let you figure it out without me sobbing over your shoulder. Because I can't wait to see what sort of things you discover and enjoy.

I love you. So much I am afraid I will burst open.

Love,
Mama

So much I'm afraid I will burst.